PACA: Pagans Against Child Abuse

A place for people who oppose child abuse.

Rather than repost this discussion with the new numbers, I've decided to adjust the numbers in the original discussion. Please note, in particular, that the number of girls who are sexually abused by their 18th birthday has gone up from 1 in 4 to 1 in 3.

I’m here to tell you the truth. The truth is, there are monsters out there. They want to rape our kids. The truth is ugly and brutal. I will not stand by, and let these monsters carry on without any type of accountability. You need to be aware of these monsters. You need to know what they do and how they do it. It starts here, and it starts now. 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 6 boys are sexually abused before their 18th birthday. What we are doing now is not working.


The above quote is from Warriors For Innocence.

Think about those numbers for a minute... if I were to just count the grandchildren of my parents, there are 13 (soon to be 14) all together. 6 girls and 7 (soon 8) boys. If 1 in 3 girls will be sexually abused by their 18 birthday, that means that chances are very likely that two of the girls in my family will be sexually abused. If 1 in 6 boys are sexually abused, that means it is very likely that at least one of the boys in my family will be sexually abused. On average, that would be 3.25 children in my family alone. That's almost 25%, one quarter, of my parents grandchildren.

Of course, it's much easier to think about when you think in terms of numbers and percentages.

But how do these numbers translate into your family? How easy is it to think about when you have faces to put to those numbers? When you wonder "Which one(s) will this happen to?"

95% of all child molestation is done by someone that the child and/or family knows, not by strangers. That does not necessarily mean that someone you know right now is likely a pedophile. Some will find a way to become a "family friend" to gain access to children. So please be sure to read the Warriors For Innocence grooming articles.

This will give you an idea of the extent to which a predator will go in order to gain your trust and to gain access to your child. The only way to prevent this is to be aware of the tricks used, and to be vigilant. I'm not saying to lock your kids up and don't let anyone near them. I'm just saying that you should educate your children, agree on some rules (especially where the internet is concerned), and pay attention to how others interact with your children and with you.

Warriors For Innocence (WFI) is an excellent website, which gives a ton of information on how these people get parents to give them access to their children. The following statistics article is also from the Warriors For Innocence website:

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Latest child sexual abuse statistics


Here’s the latest stats on CSA. Warning: This is going to piss you off. Note the change in the first one (from 1 in 4 girls to 1 in 3 girls).


1 in 3 girls and 1 in 6 boys are sexually abused before their 18th birthday. (1)

1 in 5 children are solicited sexually while on the internet. (2)(3)

Nearly 70% of all reported sexual assaults (including assaults on adults) occur to children ages 17 and under. (4)

30-40% of victims are abused by a family member. (4)(6)(7) Another 50% are abused by someone outside of the family whom they know and trust.

Approximately 40% are abused by older or larger children whom they know. (5)(6)

Only 10% are abused by strangers.

The median age for reported abuse is 9 years old. (8)

More than 20% of children are sexually abused before the age of 8. (7)

Nearly 50% of all victims of forcible sodomy, sexual assault with an object, and forcible fondling are children under 12. (7)(9)

Nearly 70% of child sex offenders have between 1 and 9 victims; at least 20% have 10 to 40 victims. (10)

An average serial child molester may have as many as 400 victims in his lifetime.

Most children don't tell even if they have been asked

Evidence that a child has been sexually abused is not always obvious, and many children do not report that they have been abused.

Over 30% of victims never disclose the experience to ANYONE.

Young victims may not recognize their victimization as sexual abuse.

Almost 80% initially deny abuse or are tentative in disclosing. Of those who do disclose, approximately 75% disclose accidentally. Additionally, of those who do disclose, more than 20% eventually recant even though the abuse occurred.

Fabricated sexual abuse reports constitute only 1% to 4% of all reported cases. Of these reports, 75% are falsely reported by adults and 25% are reported by children. Children only fabricate ½% of the time. (11)


References:

1 Briere, J., Eliot, D.M. Prevalence and Psychological Sequence of Self-Reported Childhood Physical and Sexual Abuse in General Population……: Child Abuse and Neglect, 2003, 27 10
2 Finkelhor, D., Mitchell, K., & Wolak, J. (2001, March). Highlights of the youth internet safety survey. US Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention.
3 U.S. Department of Justice (2001). Internet crimes against children. OVC Bulletin. Washington, DC: US Department of Justice, Office for Victims of Crime.
4 Snyder, H N. (2000). Sexual assault of young children as reported to law enforcement: Victim, incident, and offender characteristics. National Center for Juvenile Justice, U.S. Depar tment of Justice
5 Abel, G., Becker, J., Mittelman , M., Cunningham- Rathner, J., Rouleau, J., & Murphy, W. (1987). Self reported sex crimes on non-incarcerated paraphiliacs. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 2, 3-25.
6 Abel, G. & Harlow, N. (2001). Stop child molestation book. Abel and Harlow.
7 Kilpatrick, D., Saunders, B., & Smith, D. (2003). Youth victimization: Prevalence and implications. U.S. Department of Justice, National Institute of Justice report.
8 Putnam, F. (2003). Ten-year research update review: Child sexual abuse. Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 42 , 269-278.
9 Simpson, C., Odor, R., & Masho, S. (2004 August). Childhood Sexual Assault Victimization in Virginia. Center for Injury & Violence Prevention. Virginia Department of Health.
10 Elliott, M., Browne, K., & Kilcoyne, J. (1995). Child sexual abuse prevention: What offenders tell us.Child Abuse & Neglect, 5, 579-594.
11 Darkness to Light Statistics

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I had mentioned to someone a while back that I used to wonder if I attracted survivors of abuse for some reason, or if it was just that people felt they could talk to me about it. I'd had discussions with my husband about the sheer numbers of people I know who are survivors, and he was sure that I was exaggerating. He had been living under the delusion that child abuse, particularly sexual abuse, is a rare occurrence. I think many people prefer to live with rose-colored glasses, and just believe that it doesn't happen to people they know.

After reading these statistics, I'm actually surprised that I haven't heard the stories of more survivors. While it does feel good knowing that people have trusted me with their stories, I now realize that I haven't been attracting survivors to me. I probably don't know any more survivors of child abuse than anyone else, and I expect that there are many, many other people I know, including some relatives, that have been abused and just haven't been willing to talk about it to anyone.

People first started opening up to me about their experiences about 7 or 8 years ago. I mentioned to my husband, after someone very close to me disclosed that they had been abused as a child, that I thought that there was an epidemic. After reading these statistics, I'm now convinced.

Bright Blessings,
DodiaFae

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I wanted to make sure that everyone saw the updated statistics.
Blessings,
~ DF

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I too am aware of more survivors because I've been there and I believe. What's even worse is when the perpetrator or sexual, physical, or emotional abuse is the childs father and he decides that the child victim belongs to him after he has divorced or separated from the mother.

Here's some more scary statistics:

Fathers who batter mothers are 2 times more likely to seek sole physical custody of their children than are non-violent fathers. (APA1996, p. 40.)

Studies show batterers are able to convince authorities that the victim is unfit or undeserving of sole custody in approximately 70% of challenged cases. (American Judges Association)

Despite myths put out by fathers that mothers always win custody cases, fathers actually win custody in 70% of custody disputes, and this is true even though most men who abuse women and children are far more likely than other fathers to fight for custody and engage in prolonged litigation. (Zorza, Batterer Manipulation and Retaliation: Denial and Complicity in the Family Courts, 2001, Abrams & Greaney, Report of the Gender Bias Study of the Supreme Judicial Court of Massachusetts, 62-63, 1989, APA 1996, p. 40.

The only way to help the poor children stuck in this situation is to ensure equal access to competent legal representation for mothers. Despite popular belief GAL and CASA are rarely advocates and too often follow the money right into the abuser's hand.

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The reason I put this info here is that you can take a child away from an abusive family friend, coach, or uncle and while he may never be prosecuted by law, the child can never be legally forced to live with him. A father can use the courts to gain complete and total access to his victim.

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Thank you for posting these statistics, BB. These are important facts to know, and would also be fitting in the Child Custody group. If you start a discussion there, it might help to bring awareness to this very serious problem.

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What??? They tell you that it's normal for a 19 year old to molest a 6 year old???

I'm sorry, but you're family is pretty messed up if they believe that. I'm glad you know it's not normal, and I hope you know that it wasn't your fault. That your abuser suffered abuse is NOT an excuse to continue the cycle. Pretty much everywhere, 19 is legally an adult, and as an adult it was his responsibility to use some frikkin common sense. I know many, many adults who had suffered abuse as a child, and all have chosen to break the cycle because they remember how horrid they felt about the abuse they suffered. Why anyone would think it's OK to visit that on another innocent child just because it happened to them is beyond me. It's just more of the distorted thinking that abusers and their enablers try to spread around.

*HUGS* What happened to you wasn't right, it wasn't your fault, and your family is absolutely wrong to try and tell you otherwise and to make excuses for him.

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